Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Jesse was way out of Norman's league.



Let's be real; Jesse Burns was out of Norman's league in "A River Runs Through It".  She's way too cute and sassy to be with such a bore as Norman.  Yes, I know, she had one brother that pulled pencil's out of his nose and the other was an alcoholic, pathlogical liar, and world champion peckerwood, but still, no contest here.  The movie people would have us believe that Norman some how romanced Jesse with his poetry. 
But here's his best two moves:
The toast: "The candle burns at both ends.  It will not last the night.  But ah, my foes, and oh my friends, it gives a lovely light."  I actually like poetry but that line sucks. Norman is a English major and can freestyleWordsworth from memory to his Dad, but this is the stink bomb he pulls out on the first date?!  Tragic. 

And the letter:  "Dear Jesse, as the moon lingers a moment over the bitterroots, before its descent into the invisible, my mind is filled with song. I find I am humming softly; not to the music, but something else; some place else; a place remembered; a field of grass where no one seemed to have been; except a deer; and the memory is strengthened by the feeling of you, dancing in my awkward arms."   I don't care what anyone says, you send a woman a letter talking about some lonely field with a deer in it and you being awkward, and they're not calling you back.  And who hums to a place?  That makes zero sense.  So now, you're telling this girl, in a love letter, that you're thinking of animals, have no motor skills, and are incoherent and dillusional.  Good one, Don Juan.

On a side note, Emily Lloyd, the actress that played Jesse Burns, has a book coming out this July called, Wish I Was There. The book will chronical her acting career as well as her struggles with mental illness.